Self-realization is the realization of the potential of an individual. How to fulfill yourself in life. How to find yourself in life: the best ways to understand a person's path They realize themselves in life

Someone had a dream to become a "star". Parents pinned their hopes on someone. Someone aspired to achieve goals in life. However, something went wrong. The dream did not come true. The hopes were dashed. The goal was not achieved. Is it possible to change an already written life scenario? You can understand how a person realizes himself at the training "System-vector psychology" by Yuri Burlan.

How a person realizes himself in society

Realization is giving back to society. What can we give? Only what we have from nature is innate properties that we developed in the process of growing up. A person is happy when he is realized. Therefore, it is important to understand your mental characteristics and learn overcome laziness.

1. Overcome laziness

In nature, everything is in balance: giving and receiving, "carrot and stick". A person who does not fully realize himself experiences suffering. It is necessary to make an effort, to force yourself to overcome laziness. If in life there is only rest, pleasure from receiving material goods, it is devastating. When a person overcomes himself, invests his skills, abilities, abilities in giving back to society, he experiences the joy of self-realization.

Where does the energy come from that helps you overcome laziness? Energy is strength, attraction to something or someone. In other words, interest. Our life is built on the power of attraction. When you can't cope with laziness, it's hard to force yourself to concentrate on something. Then we look for an excuse for ourselves: “This will wait, this is not now, later. Better to do something pleasant. "

In fact, all energy is inside us, in our properties, in our psyche it is already set. You just need to reveal this power that is inside. When a person makes an effort, then the biochemistry of the brain comes to a balanced state. Endorphins are produced, pleasure from the process itself appears. At the moment of tension, energy arises and a feeling of pleasure is formed.

If we are doing work out of habit, just to do it, finish as soon as possible and rest, then simple mechanical actions do not bring pleasure. If we do something for show, we do not get involved in the process itself and do not get energy.

So the effort should be enjoyable. People who are passionate about their work become attractive to others, they have more energy. And they want to communicate with energetic, active people, to have business.

2. Understand your properties

The development of abilities occurs in the process of growing up. What a person was able to develop before adolescence, he must realize for the benefit of society. Our properties are either developing or not fully. Depending on this, the person:

He lives his own life, then everything works out for him;

He chooses someone else's and begins to do what he is not adapted to.

Our task is to determine our true desires. After all, the desires and natural abilities of the individual are interconnected. The realization of abilities begins when a person determines his innate desires, or vector.

We are different in our properties. At the training "System-vector psychology", eight basic vectors, or groups of given innate personality traits, are determined. Combinations of human vectors determine his desires and influence the realization of his natural potential. In this case, a certain life scenario is formed.

How to realize yourself in life

Let's consider examples of how a person realizes himself or his life scenarios, depending on vector features (combinations of vectors).

1. How to realize themselves imaginative intellectuals

« Since childhood, great hopes have been pinned on me, I was an excellent student and head of the class, I graduated from a regular school and a music school with excellent marks. Then she graduated with honors from the university. In my thoughts, my efforts should automatically lead to success, to a job in a high-paying promising company. However, the reality turned out to be a little different. I work for almost the minimum wage. Despite the fact that those around me consider me an intelligent and promising person, I do not believe in myself. I have a fear of unfulfillment, I'm just afraid to try something new, I'm afraid not to live up to everyone's expectations».

They also talk about such people - they have a "golden head", "golden ratio in their eyes." They are capable of absorbing large amounts of information. They have perfect memory. They study excellently, erudite. Become experts, professionals, analysts.

People with an anal-visual combination of vectors know how to get along with everyone, show loyalty. Even in difficult circumstances, they find a way out thanks to their ability to get along with others. They want to be the best, good and kind, although they doubt their abilities. They are waiting for praise in their address.

The anal-visual are people with a moral and intellectual quest. Scientific, technical and creative intelligentsia, teachers, doctors, designers. Realization of their natural properties where others cannot cope with complex analysis, understand the intricacies and details. They are characterized by meticulousness and thoroughness, a tendency to teach and transfer knowledge.

2. How to realize themselves creative people

« I am 26. I absolutely cannot realize myself in the profession. I am constantly thrown from one extreme to another. I am haunted by my childhood dream of becoming a "star". I graduated from the acting department. I tried to practice dancing, but never finished my studies. I tried to sing - everything is completely muffled here. I may want to be a show-ballet dancer in the morning, serenade in the evening, and the next morning try to get a job as a flight attendant and want to get married at a nearby time. Now I am moonlighting as an animator, this does not satisfy me. I want something more, but I cannot be realized as a professional. I run from work to work. How to find yourself ?»

She is different from the rest of the women. Flexible, slim, beautiful, flirty, fashionable. The skin-visual beauty looks for the gaze of the interlocutor, establishes eye contact, speaks with aspiration. Her aspiration is to create emotional connections, to develop the capacity for compassion.

Her emotional state changes, like a picture in a kaleidoscope. Tears are close. She wants to experience vivid feelings and emotions, dream and fantasize. For her, a career is primary. Realization in society is vital to her.

If the emphasis is on the skin vector, the natural flexibility of the body develops, then such a girl becomes a dancer, skater, ballerina. If the emphasis is on the visual vector, sensuality develops more. Such a girl will become an actress, educator, singer, psychologist.

Skin-visual people realize their potential both in areas close to the skin vector - sales, business, and in areas inherent in the visual vector. Find themselves in the field of beauty - fashion models, models, fitness trainers. Great travel lovers, they become tour guides, stewardesses. At the highest level of development of feelings, their main task is to compassion, help, support, love other people.

3. Realize yourself as a person with abstract intelligence

« Almost 28 years old. I have achieved nothing in my empty life. Continuous depression. It started when I lost my first job. I consider myself unfit in any way, whatever you take. I am nothing of myself. I bought and sold on the Internet. I can't find a job now. No money left. Everything is bad. Frequent thoughts of suicide. Failure in all areas of life. I drank a course of antidepressants. Enough for a year. Doing stupid things thinking it's right. Then I understand that it will not lead to anything. Or I go and give up halfway. I give it up. I don’t know what to do. How to overcome the trap into which he drove himself. Most likely, I'm just a failure in life. But there is a goal in life - spiritual development ».

A person who himself does not know what he wants cannot express his desires in words - often he has a sound vector, abstract intellect. He is in constant search of the meaning of life, seeks to know the hidden beyond his capabilities. He has an inner request for spiritual development, self-knowledge.

When a person with a sound vector does not realize his natural desires for knowing himself, for the realization of ideas, he suffers from a sense of meaninglessness. Wants to be left alone, gets depressed. If it is impossible to fill his desires, he has a feeling of inner emptiness, suicidal thoughts appear. Sound voids suppress the desires of other vectors.

When a person is carried away by some idea or does work that requires intense mental concentration, the sound vector is filled. If a person finds a way to fill the sound desire, desires manifest themselves in other vectors. New interests appear, I want to communicate with people, to do something. The person "wakes up", wants to enjoy life.

Zvukovik successfully realizes himself in scientific fields, computer technologies, cybernetics. Masters any profession on the Internet for the creation and promotion of sites, copywriting.

Start to realize yourself

The desires that drive us are always looking for their realization. A person experiences suffering if he cannot realize himself, take place in society. As soon as we realize who we are and what drives us, we begin to live our own life, become ourselves. We no longer need to follow any stereotypes, adjust to someone's opinion.

The process of self-discovery and self-discovery is interesting and exciting, like reading a book. We get to know ourselves anew, define our properties, and they are revealed in a new way. We begin to understand our true natural desires. See your essence.

Our responsibility is to understand our desires and realize them. ... You can start to realize yourself already during the online training "System-vector psychology" by Yuri Burlan.

Watch and read

Graduated from the institute, adulthood began. First job, new sensations, new responsibility. And suddenly you realize: I don't want to do this all my life. When I entered the institute, I did not understand, did not realize that this was not suitable for me. Maybe my decision was made under pressure from parents or peers, or I myself made a mistake in my choice, but now this is not important. How do I understand what I really want? What am I capable of? Does every person have their own vocation? And how do you find it?

We are talking about this with Irina Nikolaevna Moshkova, founder and head of the Family Benefit psychological counseling center.

Does every person have a calling?

In spiritual literature there are no direct indications that each person has a certain specific professional activity, to which he is most predisposed. But it is said that each person is called by God to a personal form of being. This is the main purpose of man.

Solving this problem, throughout his life a person must develop spiritually and improve, increasing the abilities and gifts given by God. Contributing to the disclosure of creativity in a person, The Lord gives each of us the grace of the Holy Spirit so that our faith does not remain fruitless so that she finds her expression in conscious service to God, other people and God's created world.

A person should not live idly on earth. Man is the highest creation of God, which is called not only to eat, drink, sleep and send some of his needs. The Lord sees in a person His friend, helper and co-worker, capable of increasing the beauty and diversity of God's created world, to see the deepest, essential connections of various aspects of Being. Seeing with the help of God the essence of things, studying the spiritual laws of the existence of the human race, we can reasonably build our life on earth, without violating the harmony of the world created by God.

It follows that each person faces difficult tasks: firstly, the task of realizing your human vocation, secondly, investing moral efforts in the development of one's own personality, without which it is impossible to develop one's talents and abilities, and thirdly, the search for oneself and one's place of service to God, the neighbor and God's created world, in which the acquired creative potential of a person can be successful implemented.

Any person has this or that form and measure of giftedness. There are people whose talents and abilities are at the level of genius. They say about such people: "He is a composer from God," "an artist from God," "a teacher from God," "a doctor from God." We say this, meaning that a person not only felt that he bears a certain God's gift, but he also managed to correctly realize this gift. Developing as a person, this person was able to use his gifts and abilities in such a way that in his mind the understanding of his giftedness was combined with the feeling of how he should dispose of this gift. As a result, his Christian personality acquired such greatness that the people around him begin to “see his good deeds and glorify the Heavenly Father” (Matthew 5:16).

Increase what God has given

It happens on the contrary, a person with great difficulty realizes strengths his “I” and far from immediately distinguishes which path to go, what to learn, where to apply himself. Unfortunately, this is much more common. But even these phenomena must be correctly interpreted.

In my opinion, this does not mean that a person is deprived of God, that he does not have the data due to which he could eventually turn into a developed personality who could glorify his Creator. The Lord says in the parable of talents that even if only one talent is given to a person, you still need to try to reveal it, use it for its intended purpose, and realize it to the extent determined from above. The Lord is many-merciful: even if He limits a person in some way, he will necessarily compensate for this with an excess of his abilities in others.

It often happens, for example, that a person's lack of vision is compensated for by good hearing, or, conversely, a person does not hear everything, but he distinguishes some nuances of color shades that other people do not perceive, or smells surprisingly subtly.

Some time ago, in the assembly hall of the Tsaritsyno CCSO, where we work as psychologists, there were pictures that were drawn by people with disabilities who have various mental illnesses. Many of them have diagnoses: schizophrenia, epilepsy, hysteria. When artists begin to work with these people, when they encourage sick people to creative self-disclosure, art canvases of amazing beauty and expressiveness are born.

In psychology and psychotherapy, there is now such a direction in the treatment of mental illness: "therapy with creative self-expression." It turns out that it is extremely important for a person to engage in some kind of creative work, so that he can express himself, his inner world, articulate what is going on inside him.

Self-knowledge is more important than talents

It seems to me that in order for a person to find himself in life, it is important not just to have some extraordinary abilities and talents, but it is important that a person is educated, developed such properties that give him the opportunity to properly dispose of what opens up for him. inside yourself. In psychology, this is called the ability to self-awareness and self-knowledge.

It is important to emphasize that the ability to realize who I am, what I am, what I am capable of, is formed in the process of life. And here for children who are just developing, the experience of parenting is very instructive and important. Parents, passionate about their work, their profession, personal example, significantly help the child to find himself in life. In families where parents are engaged in creativity themselves, where there is a certain creative liberation in the atmosphere at home, when books are available to children, good illustrations, when there is an opportunity to take canvas, paints, brushes and start drawing together with his father or mother, the child gets additional opportunities in finding your favorite business.

If children see, for example, how an artist father is enthusiastically working on the creation of paintings, they themselves begin to draw and mix colors. If, for example, a dad is a writer who, while sitting at a computer, all the time works on the texts of books, then the child, looking into the life of his parents, most often also tries himself in writing poems and stories. Children learn the ability to think substantively, to develop meaningfully, as a rule, in the area in which their parents work.

We notice this in the activities of our family Sunday School "Life-Giving Spring" in Tsaritsyno, which I have been leading for many years. If the parents themselves, say, want to paint, they can bring their child to class. Or, on the contrary, the children wanted to paint on wood, and with them dad and mom can come to these creative classes. Parents who, together with their child, are engaged in some kind of creativity, are of great benefit to their child, because then he grows up with a sense of the experience of creative activity.

A person recognizes himself, engaging in creative activity, performing specific tasks assigned to himself, belonging to one or another subject area... This experience forms a person's self-awareness, a sense of the amount of creative resources inherent in his personality.

Finding Yourself in the Light of Christ's Faith

But most of all, a person's self-awareness depends on his spiritual development, on how much a person is involved in the life of the Church. When a person communicates with the grace of the Holy Spirit, he begins to recognize himself in a completely new way. All unnecessary, superficial disappears, like some kind of husk, the main thing, the essence, remains.

If a person does not believe superficially and becomes deeply involved in the Church, if he has a good spiritual mentor, then a revolution takes place inside the person, that inner light flares up inside him, about which the Church sings: "In Thy light we will see light." Faith arises, a person participates in the Sacraments, and the light of Christ enables a person to understand himself deeper. The practice of confession and repentance makes it possible to observe oneself, to study oneself in its various manifestations.

The work of the Holy Spirit in a person bears great fruit. And, among other things, it directly affects the fact that a person reconsiders the foundations on which his previous life was built.

In this case, it often happens that people move to another profession, become interested in things that they have never been fond of before. There are amazing examples when a person, not prepared in advance, suddenly begins to paint wonderful icon-painting works. We have repeatedly observed how women were fond of church embroidery, found themselves in this art, although we had never done this at home before. Or another example: a person never sang, began to go to church, began to pray, began to somehow mature spiritually, his soul began to sing, and with this a desire to learn this business was born.

The emergence of new objective interests in a believer is a completely natural phenomenon. A person spiritually gains his sight, and at the same time a new understanding of himself is born in him, as well as the need to express the spiritual wealth of his inner world, which he now finds in his soul, is formed. If you help a person at this moment a little, teach him to navigate in a new subject area and give him the opportunity to master the necessary technical foundations of a matter of interest, he will be able to create highly professional works.

This revolution itself is natural: a person is cleansed of sin, spiritually transformed, and at the same time, he realizes himself differently and finds his new field. Of course, it does not always happen that a person discards his old profession and completely forgets about it. More often than not, after coming to church at a new stage of life, a person is looking for opportunities to combine his previous education, to articulate with a new Christian worldview.

It happened in my own life... When I first started to church (this was in the nineties), the priests were very suspicious of psychology as a science, because it had just emerged from the materialistic tradition. Plus, in the 90s they began their practical activities sorcerers, psychics, magicians, sorcerers of all sorts. Many priests then feared that engaging in psychology would lead to people's enthusiasm for the occult, and this is very, very dangerous for the soul!

I knew that many of my colleagues, as soon as they began to church, resolutely left psychology and began to engage in a completely different matter. I well understood that my former worldview had collapsed. But at the same time I was very bitter to lose my scientific knowledge, which I had acquired at Moscow State University for many years. After some thought, I came to the conclusion that I need to start studying Christian anthropology and, on the basis of it, create a new psychological practice.

I want to admit that it was very difficult for me then! There was a feeling that I was sitting on ruins, the previous experience did not work, and the new approach did not exist at all ... Of course, then I did not have any sense of confidence in my abilities, there was only anxiety and uncertainty. The search for oneself was then in full swing!

An experienced confessor helped me to become an Orthodox family psychologist. I know from experience that the help of a spiritual mentor is very important at such a moment! A priest, a confessor who knows the anxieties, interests, reflections of his spiritual child can prompt a person to creative inner work. Here you cannot command, you cannot forbid a person: "Throw this, start this."

The process of searching for oneself in the light of Christ's faith must take place in a person. This process of becoming a Christian person is directed by the Lord God Himself with the assistance of a spiritual mentor. Through the prayers of the spiritual father, a person's heart is opened, and the Lord gives him new knowledge, understanding of himself, his place in the Church and the world.

Part 2. On what to build a new worldview?

What to take from your previous life? What to build a new worldview on? This process does not take place in one day, it takes time to complete an important inner work... You need to think, observe yourself and people, select, analyze, generalize the previous experience of your life, etc. Intense work of consciousness and self-awareness over time allows a person seeking himself to make the necessary spiritual breakthrough.

I am currently the head of the Autonomous Nonprofit Organization"Psychological Service Family Benefit". This is Orthodox psychological counseling, whose activities are aimed at helping people in difficult life and family circumstances. The process of the birth of this organization took place in my soul in a very mysterious way. This required about ten years of gathering strength and crystallization of thought. I remember several important points that determined the success of the search.

Goal setting

First, goal setting. The question “how to find yourself” becomes relevant for those people who want to not just “have” or “seem” to be important people. Such questions are asked by people who want to truly “be”, want to solve the problem of dedicating themselves and their forces to a meaningful meaningful form of being in this world. Such striving naturally introduces a person to the Christian tradition. The thirst for an authentic, real, meaningful life is tantamount to the search for Truth, which is inextricably linked with the name of the Lord Jesus Christ. Understanding that Christ Himself is the Truth radically changes the worldview of people, and provides a new starting point for the search for oneself.

Together with the beginning of the Christian life and churching, a person naturally arises the desire to move in depth and live with full dedication, to take everything responsibly and seriously. Together with a change in the worldview position, the Lord sends a person the right thoughts, correct judgments, indicates the right directions for finding oneself. In order for this process to begin, one must put spiritual values above material ones, and trust the Lord God as the Creator, Creator and Giver of all Good. Metropolitan Anthony of Sourozh writes in his works: if we ourselves stretch out our hand to Christ, then He takes it and leads to a new life. Therefore, first of all, we must turn to him for help as a Teacher, as a Friend, as a Mentor: “Lord, help! Lead me where you intend to lead. Thy will be done! "

At that moment, when I was looking for my place in life, the phrase from the Gospel was my guideline: "Seek first of all the Kingdom of God and its righteousness, and everything else will be added to you." I often repeated these words inside myself, and they helped me a lot to stay on the right path.

The Gospel tells us that it is most important for a person to stand before the Face of God and enter into prayerful communion with Him, and if this is done, He Himself will actively contribute to the improvement of human life in the world around him. In other words, if a “vertical” is built in human life, then “horizontal” relations with the outside world are formed as if by themselves, easily and naturally. The Lord God Himself then “leads” a person by the hand to the goals and objectives that affirm his spiritual dignity.

Life analysis

Secondly, in order to find yourself, you need the ability to analyze your own life, the traversed life path.

Again I will take my own personal experience... We were taught a lot at Moscow State University academic disciplines, but among them were subjects related to such a section as child, developmental and educational psychology. It was this knowledge that helped me in creating a Christian approach to psychological counseling.

In 1995, Fr. Georgy Breev blessed me to become the director of the Life-Giving Spring Sunday School in Tsaritsyno. At this time, only children studied at Sunday School school age... Having become the headmaster of the school, I clearly understood that by limiting the contingent of school students only to children, we incorrectly set ourselves an educational task, since the semantic cell, the unit for spreading the Orthodox faith should be the family. As soon as I said these words aloud, I immediately realized that not only schoolchildren, but also preschoolers, and most importantly, adolescents and young people, and parents, even grandparents, should be admitted to Sunday School.

The Life-Giving Source School has become an educational institution that teaches people to live like a Christian in the bosom of their own families, because a family, according to the teaching of the Church, is a small, home church. If a person creates an atmosphere of mutual support, trust and love in the family circle, then at the same time he forms that spiritually healthy environment necessary for the formation of a Christian personality. In such an atmosphere, children grow up who, leaving the threshold of the parental home, are able to live independently and responsibly.

When I uttered the word "family" (and this was 1997) - a light flashed in my soul! I think it was the Lord who gave me a secret sign that we have chosen the right course. When you are visited by a thought sent from above, from God, it overshadows you from the inside, and you understand that unexpectedly a new field opens up before you, a new life path that has not yet been trodden by anyone.

When the family school was born, the idea of creating a family consultation was born at the same time. At this moment, I found a place for my professional knowledge... Although initially me about. Georgy Breev, my confessor, blessed me to simply teach at the Sunday School and then become its director. But as soon as the word “family” was pronounced, a clear understanding emerged of where I needed to be, what to do and what direction to develop.

The correct formulation of the problem enables a person to feel his destiny, his mission, his dedication to a specific topic. Along with this, an understanding of one's professional work as a certain purpose, vocation is formed.

What is a vocation?

What is a vocation? This is not just work for money, "from and to". This is the activity, growing into which a person is formed as a Christian personality. This is the activity during which the spiritual growth of a person takes place, service to God and the people around him is carried out.

It is known from the Gospel that the Lord Jesus Christ chose the Apostles, who were to first perceive, assimilate the preaching of the Divine Teacher and Instructor, and then become carriers and disseminators of great ideas. Thus, the Apostles of Christ became those people who at first themselves went the path of forming a Christian personality, and then became preachers and founders of the Christian Church, in which many people throughout the earth are now finding salvation of souls.

The incorruptible, honest and creative service of a person to the Church, the motherland and every work of God on earth, inspired by faith in Christ, he called "objective behavior." Ilyin's work "The Creative Idea of Our Future" says the following:

“A Russian teacher must, first of all, think over and fully feel his great national task. He is not an expert in the elimination of illiteracy (not a "special" "educational program"), but a teacher of Russian children. He must know and understand that it is not only about developing observation, reason and memory, but about awakening and strengthening spirituality in children. "

In turn, "objectivity", by his definition, is a natural result of the Christian feat of creative transformation of oneself in God and the creative transformation of the world ("world acceptance"). The future of Russia, according to Ilyin, requires the upbringing of strong-willed, “objective” thinking and capable of “objective” activity, people capable of living with an understanding of Christian responsibility for their standing before God.

All of the above allows us to designate as a principled approach to organizing the educational process in Sunday school, the “subject” approach, which is based on explaining to students the idea of the Christian feat of sacrificial love, as well as the possibility and necessity of its implementation in the course of everyday life with the family.

Reflecting on the fate of Russia after the October Revolution, I.A. Ilyin wrote in his book "The Creative Idea of Our Future" that Russia needs to create its own system of state and public life, its own culture and education system. Russia, the philosopher wrote, is a country of the Christian way of life. This way of life is the basic formation of Russian social life, which forms the identity of the self-consciousness of the people.

Putting your vision into practice

The third important point: finding the main point of application of their creative powers, important, so that a person begins to practically implement his ideal plan. It is necessary that further concrete steps were outlined for the implementation of a creative idea in life. This stage becomes a test of the viability of our ideas.

For us, this stage was associated with the creation of a family school, then the creation of a consultation, then the transfer of the consultation to the walls state institution- GU Tsaritsinsky integrated center social service(KCSO). The sequential passage of these stages led us to the study of new problems that we initially did not think to consider. For example, mental health problems and support from the family of a mentally ill person, conducting educational seminars discussing the problems of parenting. The issues of marriage and parenting formed a whole layer of new topics that we had to seriously think about. Along with this, a new psychological practice was born, consisting of a combination of counseling, psychotherapeutic work and educational activities.

All our activities are now divided into directions, and each direction gives rise to some kind of social project... We understand that it is not enough just to announce that we will be doing this and that. You need to bring your development to the stage of a clearly defined program of action aimed at helping specific people of a certain age, social status etc. It is necessary to achieve practical benefits, practical results of activities.

Boldness. Learn to "plow without looking back"

There is one more important point in finding oneself. It often happens that impatient people who cannot wait for a positive result do not find themselves for a long time. They want to skim and cream off immediately. Results do not appear immediately. For example, training, education, enlightenment - these types of activities do not allow you to quickly see the fruits of your labor. Here you must first work hard, you must first put your soul into it, spend a lot of effort, time, not be afraid to do it. And the result can be seen only with a long delay.

The holy fathers have such a concept - “boldness”. in his works he wrote:

"Orthodoxy enables a person to become a saint, but not all people become saints."

The question arises: why does this happen only in rare, exceptional cases? Father John answered in his sermons:

"Because people have no boldness."

When we read spiritual literature and get acquainted with the life of holy people, we see how difficult it is to achieve this. We say: “Yes, I will never be able to do this, my life will not be enough. Is it worth doing this at all? In order to have a result, a person must learn to "plow without looking back."

You need to believe that your idea is correct, and devote some period of your life to the fact that you will simply do everything to realize it, without looking back. And then there comes a moment when the amount of work brought up already bears fruit in itself, gives some sprouts, some important creative continuation. Then you are not looking for a job, the job is looking for you.

photosight.ru. Photo: Vladimir Cherkasov

In life and understand what to do, congratulations: you have embarked on the path of finding the main harmony in your life - harmony with yourself.

This path is always accompanied by difficulties and worries: is it too late, will it work out?

We hope that Life Reactor will help you dispel your doubts and achieve your goal.

5+ ways to find yourself and your calling

The theme of the search for one's own essence now and then pops up in the works of world culture, and in the most different ones.

Analyze your immediate environment.

Of course, you are very fond of all these people - otherwise why are you friends with them or work with them?

But step back for an hour from attachments and look at everyone from the outside. Would you like to add or remove someone from your social circle?

Giorgio Armani may not have become a famous designer

Imagine your ideal environment: what kind of people make it up?

Perhaps you would like to hang out in a glamorous get-together or be a regular at scientific conferences, be surrounded by businessmen, or hang out with simple, handy and hardworking farmers?

These ideas will help you understand what qualities you want to see in the people around you.

This means what qualities should be developed in oneself. This is an important part of finding yourself in life and figuring out what to do.

The easiest test that you can take is completely free and without registration, because all you need for it is yourself, a little free time and perseverance.

One day from a new life

Imagine your ideal day: from start to finish, in great detail, from breakfast to the last thought before bed.

Imagine everything - your moods, what would you do, where you would spend your time. Don't try to be realistic.

According to the terms of the problem, you have all the means, skills and talents in order to live the perfect day.

When you have presented everything inside and out (and, of course, have written it down), divide the new sheet of paper into three columns.

In the first, write down those fantasies that you just need - real "blue dreams" that you embodied in your ideal day. In the second - something that is not so important, but rather strongly desired.

The third column contains all the things that you added just "to be", but in fact could do without them.

Study the resulting table carefully.

You yourself have written tips for yourself - all that remains is to figure out how to realize such an ideal.

Tip: separate the details. If you imagine that on a perfect day you went to buy a car that you have dreamed of for a long time, then think - does the thing bring you real pleasure or the fact of purchase itself? This is a crucial difference, which is not at all obvious at first glance.

This test for how to find themselves in life and understand what to do, is well suited with their rich and detailed imaginative thinking.

But for those who are used to thinking more globally, the following exercise is suitable.

A new life ... and not necessarily one!

Take your favorite number to ten and come up with the same number of your ideal lives.

This time you have the same "starting conditions" as in real life, and the same means - but thousands of new possible roads.

Knowing that you have more than one life, you can devote each of them to something one: family, career, science, travel ...

Go into the details and think carefully about what you would do along each path.

Now arrange them according to their attractiveness.

The first will show your main one, while the rest can be attached as a hobby or extraneous interests.

Tip: remember that it is not at all necessary to define and dwell on one thing - you just need to correctly distribute all the desired options.

It's never too late to find yourself

Life priorities - elephants on which the world rests

In search of an answer to the question of how to find yourself in life, to understand what is worth doing, pay attention to the following test, which is equally well suited for both men and women.

Imagine that you are alone in your apartment with a small child who suddenly starts crying.

Outside the window, meanwhile, it starts to rain heavily, and you have freshly washed linen hanging behind your balcony.

The characteristic splash of water in the kitchen reminds you that you haven't turned on the tap, and the water from the sink is about to pour onto the floor, pouring over the neighbors.

And, as luck would have it, at the same moment there is a knock on the door and the ringing of the city phone.

Which problem will you solve first - calm down the child, take off the clothes, turn on the tap, open the door or answer the call?

See what life priorities lie behind each of the options:

The child symbolizes the family
Lingerie means your priority is love, romance and sex.
The crane is financial matters
For those who have chosen the door, friends are the main thing in life.
If you reach for your phone, your priority is work.

It's so easy to determine what to focus your aspirations around.

After all, if your occupation does not serve as the main priority, you will not find happiness, namely, happiness is the main aspiration of every person.

We hope our tips have helped you figure out how to find yourself in life and understand what to do.

Finally, we bring to your attention a video on this topic:

The question of finding yourself and your place in the world is eternally relevant for billions of people. Almost every person once thinks about how to find himself in life, reveal his potential, realize himself and get pleasure and material reward from this. This is not the most easy task... Many prefer to avoid it, turning a blind eye to dissatisfaction and destruction of individuality. But there are also daredevils who dare to change their unloved occupations for "the very ones."

Every day, children, adolescents and even adults and the elderly say to themselves and those around them “I want to find myself in life”. Self-confidence and success are also often not a guarantee that a person has no problem finding himself. According to psychology, such conditions are characteristic of people with periodic repetition from the first grades to very old age. This is one of those things that should be taught in schools.

From the point of view of philosophy, this is understanding oneself and finding a unique place. Psychologists believe that if such a problem takes a long time, it may indicate depression. Therefore, it is recommended to seek help from a psychologist or psychotherapist, or to leave everything and just enjoy what is, if the search turns into an obsession and no longer brings pleasure. Sometimes such moods are explained as fatigue and, accordingly, the need for rest. It happens that a person has found himself long ago, but due to fatigue and stress he doubts this and needs a reboot.

Those who are looking for themselves value not only the result, but also the process itself and the efforts made. There is no magic recipe and, on the one hand, this is good, because this is what makes the search interesting, memorable and fun activity... On the other hand, a universal instruction would make a difficult task easier. Among the main ways to determine your place in life are self-analysis and analysis, advice from psychologists and exercises, consultations, master classes and trainings, as well as spiritual practices, meditation and motivation. Some people choose to combine several methods to simplify their lives.

The first step in order to make a meaningful choice and find yourself is knowing yourself. It is difficult to describe and ignore the state when a person does not know who he really is. But as difficult as this search is, it's worth it. Self-awareness is a didactic experience that can help you become a self-sufficient person. A few questions to start the process of knowing yourself:

What surrounds a person now?
Does he have self-pity and demands for pity from others?
Does he have dreams?
And are there fears that prevent you from moving forward? We are talking about precisely those fears that a person sincerely wants to get rid of, and not those that ensure a comfortable life.
Is he an optimist or a pessimist?
Personality traits that help you move forward?
Properties that interfere with the achievement of goals and success?
What are the people in the close environment of a person and are there those among them who interfere personal growth?
Reasons for refusing to realize dreams? Were they real?
How did the person come to the actual state?

It is very important to talk to yourself openly and honestly. It is recommended to write the answers in a gadget or on a piece of paper.

The best way to understand and find yourself in life is to heed the advice of psychologists and personal growth coaches. They offer 15 life hacks that will help you find your "I":

Be active, do something and remember Einstein's words: “Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance, you need to keep moving. " You can choose the place where you want to go.
Get enough sleep. It is sleep, and not work for wear, that is the basis of health, Have a good mood, beauty as well as productivity.
"No". Thanks to Jim Carrey, Always Say Yes is a very good movie, but you shouldn't take it literally and be afraid to say no if something doesn't suit you. There will always be someone who wants to take advantage of a person's kindness, even in the circle of his comrades or relatives. Everyone has the right to refuse.
Positive thinking. Belief in the best and an attitude of achievement.
Breaking stereotypes. Habitual patterns often only hinder development.
The road ahead, despite the obstacles. The runway is often black, but if you start it will definitely be better.
Leave or change. This is about where you don't like something: unloved job with imaginary stability or familiar relationships, long deprived of their former satisfaction and joy. Staying in such conditions means voluntarily subscribing to stress, illness, neurosis and betrayal of your dreams.
Recreation.
Study and knowledge. It is important to learn something new every day: from books, courses, self-study or articles.
Creation. The key to release from overstrain, as well as the development of thinking, including creative.
Love yourself and please. This is not only not prohibited, but necessary. Without this, it is unlikely that it will be possible to meet those who will have the same feelings and desires for a person.
Sample. No one is immune from mistakes, and it's useless, because mistakes are a valuable experience and a stage for the next advance.
Goals and planning. It should be detailed plan at least regarding the most important projects and moments.
Constant new acquaintances. Connections will never be superfluous and sociable people move forward.
Close the door behind past and past mistakes.

It is equally important to be open to others. Likewise, psychologists advise to be charged with inspiration from all sorts of individual sources.

Continuing the list of life hacks for those who are looking for themselves, it is worth paying attention to attitudes and priorities. They must not only be placed, but also changed if they slow down growth. Other recommendations:

The best way to communicate is with smart, positive and successful women and men of all ages. Losers and depressed people pull back. As a rule, people feel great next to happy individuals who themselves are positive and tune in others. Accordingly, from conversations with those who are always complaining, the mood worsens, and the energy disappears. But it is also important to remember that depression is a serious mental disorder and if someone close to you is really sick, you need to help him, and not leave him in trouble. In addition, it is important to radiate optimism yourself, so that others are drawn to the person.
Overcoming fears. Successful individuals know that phobias get in the way of moving forward, so they fight them by opening businesses or preparing presentations.
Organization of the world. Putting things in order opens the way to knowing yourself: cleaning the apartment, resolving a conflict situation with a colleague and performing all important tasks.
Clear sheet. This point is about the development of one's own system of moral values and its observance. All vices, habits and actions that constantly distract and harm, bind the real "I" must be removed.
Passion. Finding something in life that is worth the effort, tears and sacrifices is perhaps the most significant find for a person. If something seems beautiful and inspires faith, you need to strive for it, no matter what other people's opinions may be.
Mentor. Of course, the search for oneself should be accompanied by loneliness, because only a person himself can determine his needs. But masters and mentors help to avoid unnecessary obstacles. A person with a developed sense of self-awareness, in whom there is trust, will approach.
You don't need to please everyone. It is known that you cannot please everyone, there will always be someone who will treat badly, regardless of the string of merit and similar positive. It is important to ignore such points of view, even if they belong to dear people. Independence from someone else's opinion is a huge step towards knowing yourself and living a harmonious life.
Privacy. Every day, you need to find time for a walk and reflection in solitude, protecting yourself from the noise, the endless flow of information, dialogue, pressure and expectations. The best for such a pastime are squares, forests and any places where you can be alone with nature and relax. The main thing is that solitude does not bring discomfort and fear. Anyone who seeks himself should feel self-sufficient and independent.
Serve others. As Mahatma Gandhi said, "The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in serving others." Serving the community and others is one of the best ways to understand your purpose.
Leaving your comfort zone. If you leave your familiar environment and observe yourself, you can learn about yourself that was previously inaccessible.

Psychologists also note that there are no time limits for finding oneself: a week will be enough for someone, while the process may take years for others. Therefore, be patient.

Do not forget that the morning is wiser than the evening. There is no need to rush to making decisions, especially if they are global. The main advisor of any seeker should be his inner voice.

Interesting and useful exercises

It is sometimes very simple to determine the correctness of your path, it is enough to pay attention to the morning awakening. Those whose path is correct get out of bed with vigor and creative ideas. And accordingly, those who hate the alarm clock and get up with difficulty and in a bad mood need changes. There are several exercises to help you figure out what to actually do:

Exercise 1. Ideal environment. Almost always, the environment that breeds the winners consists of them. Others' belief in a person greatly simplifies and sustains belief in oneself. But many are unlucky, their environment does not dispose to the discovery of genius. The exercise invites you to imagine that, waking up in the morning, a person discovered a change in the world in accordance with his needs. Now he is surrounded by only those people whom he wants to see next to him. What will they be? And what qualities do they have? What has the person learned about himself and what does he need to reach his full potential?
Exercise 2. Return children's interest. There is something that distinguishes a genius (which can be anyone) from ordinary people - it is defending the right to do what he loves. As a rule, this can be traced back to childhood. It is necessary to answer the question of what a person liked to do in the early years, before the imposition of serious and profitable pursuits adults.
Exercise 3. Perfect day. All you need is a sheet of paper, a pen and a fantasy. It is recommended to live your ideal day in every detail: the place of action, the people around, food, clothes, activities. There are no restrictions. It is important to imagine the possession of absolute freedom, billions of rubles, skills and powers of dreams.
Exercise 4. 20 favorite activities. This list may contain trivial things like eating delicious food and something more significant and global. After compiling the list, you need to carefully study it. There are probably patterns and activities of a certain type prevail: sports, helping others, or something related to monotonous work.
Exercise 5. Five Lives. That's how many there really are, just imagine it. And every life is an opportunity to become what you want. How will these chances be used? The number of lives can be changed by 3 or 7. Next, the life that you like the most is chosen. But this is not necessary, you can also choose from each one that a person loves and needs a lot, and then realize it all in reality.

After completing the exercises , you need to make three lists and add all the fantasies to them... The first concerns things that are needed like air. The second includes what you would like, but not necessarily. And the third is about things you can do without.

Human life is about experience, roles, relationships, stories, skills, income. Something from this list is imposed, chosen, is a compromise, or even an accident. Others are necessary or expensive. Those who wish to find themselves in life, to understand what exactly is their own and where their place is, should focus on themselves, find their favorite things and activities and act, move towards their destination.

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The Rosenthal Effect: How to Change Another Person? A way to love yourself quickly: practical advice psychologists How to stop fussing and worrying about and without: the best methods